Today my stomach hurts, and I feel tired. As much as I tried to avoid any sort of obligatory painting, I have committed to a gala in March and want to create something for that. I also have a few concepts in mind that I would like to paint; and instead of feeling colorful, I feel gray. Perhaps I should paint something in gray tones just to see how it turns out…
I know what I want to paint, but not HOW I need to paint it. I am unsure of the canvas size, and where to start. Sigh.
I understand that it is unsustainable to be full of inspiration all the time. But I wish it could happen, and at times I have even thought that it was possible. Perhaps I should just take these colorless moments to relax and ask myself some questions.
I decided to write because I wanted to be real about it. It’s going to be a journey.
To answer my own question…what do I do when I am uninspired? Well, I am going to get on my knees. I really have no other options.
Lord, you have given me gifts to steward; of that there is no doubt. I want to use them very much, but sometimes I am very aware of how led I am emotionally. This particular gift rises out of emotion. Please teach me how to find peace no matter what place I am at in the journey because I rely on you. No comparisons. No competition. No pressure. Just peace. And listening to Your Voice. Tears fall in desire to paint with You, not just for You. I don’t want to paint alone. Reveal Your presence to me.
Smile. There You are.
And…now the canvas awaits.