Tag Archives: Misty Bedwell

cancer is a life sentence.

Sept 2013 iphone 709

When my mom found out she had stage four metastatic breast cancer, my dad would always tell people, “We have cancer.”

Little did he know that he actually did. Today my dad received his full diagnosis. Stage four small B-cell Follicular Lymphoma. Is empathy a carcinogen?

He stayed by her side through surgery, chemo, more surgery and more treatments, guarding her against pushing herself too hard (the feisty redhead needed that) and reminding her that it was going to be worth it.

How did he know it would be?

Something inside of him just said they were in this together.

And I’ve been watching. Honestly, there is something FIERCE happening here. So I have come to the conclusion that even though I don’t have cancer, my parents both now have the benefit of something I do not: PERSPECTIVE.

I want to live like I know I’m dying.

Cancer can’t take everything away. It will alter your family, it will change your body, but it cannot force you to surrender your will.

And so, I think…perhaps I can live in a new way. Every day AWARE. Present moments ENGAGED. Fully given before I am TAKEN.

 

“You prepare a table before me IN THE PRESENCE OF my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”
[Psalm 23:5]

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“Play Full”

play full

Being completely understood as a human being and an artist used to be very important to me. Not that I tried really hard to communicate properly, I just felt sad when nobody seemed to *get it*.

A LOT of assumptions were made in those days…

Over the years I’ve found meaning in the process of trying to find words that articulate what is going on inside of me, and I’ve also deemed the people around me important enough to experiment on. So if you don’t get it the first time, I will try another angle…

This bird is me.

So, here’s to growing little! It’s not that I don’t want to grow up…that would be a waste of time. But I want to forget that it hurt when I tried before and assumed I had failed. I want to return to the place where I “cried & tried” instead of “gave up.” I want to become wiser by taking more risks, simpler by moving more rocks, and free to dance.

Is any of this making sense?! If not, maybe turn your computer screen upside down, nod your head every few seconds and say, “hmmm”…

Let’s get simple together.

“…unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matt 18:3

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no keyboards were smashed in the writing of this post…

the ART life

Every time too much time passes between posts, I wonder if I even remember how to log in.
Surprise.
I remembered.
And then when I get to this part of the post…I feel like I’m done. I just needed to get that off my chest. See, world! It was a while, but I still knew it. It happened with (some of) my times tables too. I still know what 9×9=
I’m just not going to tell you. Right now. But I will in a minute.
And, now that I have fearlessly gotten the first witty remark off my agenda, the dog starts to whine. She has to pee. And it’s been a while…so…naturally I wonder if I remember how to do this…

In a eyebrow-furrowing cross between guilt and love, I have just spent the last 30 seconds of my life outside. While I was out there, I decided to celebrate my little accomplishments. So I took a deep breath, and thought of all the things I still remember how to do. Remarkable.

I have been writing. Still remember how to do hand writing. On paper.
I have been painting, too. Just not daily. But still painting. Just not telling the world about it. Not necessarily because I want to, but mostly because it’s easier. Not to.

With new glorious involvements in my life, such as the ART life, my creative being has become so rich and full, that I have forgotten to remember that I can type words on my blog. So here is one to appease the giants.

Motivation? I met with a couple other writers tonight and thoroughly enjoyed the clashing of swords playing with each other, and I am feeling optimistic and hopeful. And was reminded that I had a blog. That I like.

(It equals 81.)

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“the SOUND of healing”

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[Will be available at the Crystal Gala silent auction fundraiser for breast cancer research, October 18, 2014.]

I actually didn’t know I had this in me…but when it came out, there was a sense of relief and joy so full it only made sense that it had actually been there all along. You see, my mom had breast cancer. Twice. And now that she is on the mend again, there is a different side of cancer journey that I am experiencing alongside her: it is the sound of healing.

I have done the violent “FIGHTER” painting to depict the strength it takes to endure the process, but this was equally as needed. There is hope.

I realize that not everyone who has cancer gets to experience this side of the journey, but all hope for it. And I think if it had a sound, this is what it would sound like…

Dance like light, where joy belongs
The paths ahead make different songs
The life inside, a gift to cherish
Beauty and hope will never perish

Music on Canvas
By Misty Bedwell

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“pursuing you”

Every time feels like the first time.

In a way, it was a first. This was the first work that came out of my new studio, so I am feeling sentimental about it. I find myself wishing I could keep it around for a little while longer, but it will be going to its new home in a few short weeks.

In my new studio, there is a tiny rounded patio, only for the purpose of romance in my opinion…because I swing open the doors while I paint and push the music and inspiration outside with my brush and voice.

The title for this painting came out in a moment just like that. I sang. I painted. And I was moved to tears, so now I am eagerly preparing the special message for the new owner.

At this time, it seems, the dragonfly is able to communicate something that is inside of me that needs to be expressed. And there is more on its way. More dragonflies, more paintings, more people…I nod my head in understanding something I cannot yet see.

Two years. That is how long most species of dragonfly spend in the “preparation stage” for life: a stage that ends in only a few short months of flying. But that ability to fly is full developed, expert, complete with the ability to catch their prey in mid-air with their feet. How do they do that? Well, nearly all of the dragonfly’s head is made up of eye…so their vision enables them to see every angle, except for behind them.

I want to live like that.

“Then God said, ‘Let the waters swarm with fish and other life. Let the skies be filled with birds of every kind.'” [Genesis 1:20]

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24×36″ Mixed medium on canvas
by Misty Bedwell

FUN THINGS OF NOTE:
>This blank canvas was generously donated by Tony Mayo…love it when artists believe in other artists. Please check out his website. Send me a message if you want in on the fun too 🙂

>This painting will be available at the After Dark Gala at The Abbotsford Reach on September 13, 2014 with 100% of the proceeds going to The Reach to further the community of art in Abbotsford.

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reveal

There are times when we think and hope and pray, and we are convinced we know what God has in mind. (In spite of myself, I do this.) In the shadows of the unkown, some may assume confirmation that He can’t hear us, doesn’t know us, and doesn’t care. We grow cold. This painting reflects the cold and dark areas of our hearts that we don’t like to acknowledge.

But He does see us.

It’s not how we assume it is. His plans are not like our plans. We may think we know what He wants, but God responds to what actually is best for us. Believing this truth revives our hearts. This painting also reflects the growth of believing His promises for us.

This weekend, His promises were revealed to me, and I had a choice. Would I doubt His plans or would I respond to them, even though they were different from my own?

Lord, make my heart fully Yours. My plans do not truly matter at all…only Yours do.

“Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be washed away, and you will no longer worship idols. And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. (Ezekiel 36:25, 26 NLT)

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come like You promised…

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I don’t have many words to go along with this painting. It speaks for itself. The title, is a prayer; the painting…the answer.

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